Saturday, October 18, 2008

A little dry, but surely full.

"God, do not keep silent. Do not be deaf, God; Do not be idle."
--Psalm 83:1--

The last few days have been hard for me. Spiritually I feel alone, dry and empty. I want so badly for my cup to be full and running over, yet I feel nothing. I know that we all go through times like this. And I love that it is not about "feeling" God as much as it is being obedient to the God that we know is constantly with us. Just because I may not feel close to Him doesnt mean that He has gone away or that His love has in some way changed. It has not. He is faithful. I love how the psalmist is so true and raw with his feelings. Just like us, David goes through times when he cannot feel God or hear His voice yet a chapter or 2 later he is rejoicing and praising the name of the Lord. Why? Because He knows that his God is faithful and ever present. He is being obedient by giving Him praise and adoring the King! I will continue to do so as well and I know that soon I will come out of this dry place ready to spill my love for him out everywhere once again. Loving God is about going through the valleys and coming out on top of the highest hill. It is about experiencing the ups and downs of life, all while knowing that God is beside us and that he cares! He does care. And that is such a reassuring, beautiful, safe place to be. I want so badly to never get complacent in my walk with Him. I want my children to see me growing passionately for the Lord. I want them to see that it is a journey but one that reminds us to keep pressing onward and forward to grow and change with Him. To do things that are great for Him. To be madly and deeply in love with Him and Him alone. I'm ready to be in that place again today.

I'm still having back pain. Alot of it. It has gotten slightly better the last day or two but still intense for the most part. I went to the Dr and my urine test came back normal so that means no UTI or anything to do with my kidneys. Good news, except that they are riding it off as another possible cyst. I'd like to know for sure, but I'm just waiting out the pain at this point. They never act too concerned. God is a healing God so we'll just sit back and watch Him handle it;)

Nora and Braden are loving this weather, as am I! I hate that I'm not feeling well because I havent gotten to walk at all this week. It's throwin me out of a really good routine and I hate that. Anyway, Braden got bit by a mosquito almost exactly where Nora did last week and his was swollen too. His went away on it's own though, thank goodness. I didnt hear it, but Jeni said that Nora told her meme to "shut up" last night. Then when Sara asked her what she had just said she repeated "shut up. PLEASE." I thought hard about where she would have heard it and I suppose I have been known to tell Braden to "shut it up" a time or two but I also realize that I'm gonna have to be aware of how that must sound. Being a mother is just as much as a journey as being a christian is, especially when the two go hand in hand. haha.

Daniel went away overnight last night to a youth convention with some of our teenagers. He will be home any minute now and although it sounds childish and extremely selfish, I miss him.

Speaking of missing him...Felicia's husband Alex will be home in 2 1/2 weeks! After a little over a year in Iraq, he will finally get to kiss his wife, see his son for the first time since he was born, and giggle with Grace as she teases him for hours. I cannot wait to see them all together again and I'm just rejoicing that he is coming home safe and for good! God is a great God of protection and his hand is upon Alex and this family. It is evident that this has been a time of growth not only for their marriage but for the spiritual lives as well. It has been an awesome thing to be a part of and Felicia is one of the strongest, most graceful women I know. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you!!!! You're a great wife, a great mom and a great friend and my life is forever touched by you. I'm so glad we get to share it together forever and ever!!!

Ok, so here are a few new pictures from the past couple of days. I'll update again soon. We love you all! :)

Playing in the leaves a few days ago. She liked it, but not as much as brother.
yelling at someone! see the attitude at all??

Here she is doing her nervous pinch. She was watching Nanny drive away...

For those of you who dont know, Braden stopped taking a binky months ago. He sometimes likes to tease me by putting one in and smiling. haha.

Nightly ice cream snack...

Braden was going to try too...

He liked it but made this awful face with every bite. hahaha

Daniel and I were watching TV in the other room late one night. We thought Nora was being pretty darn quiet...

She painted herself pretty with lipgloss. yum.

Bubby's bug bite :( My poor sensitive skinned kids.

My sister found this kitty and was broken hearted that it was sleeping outside without a home. Nora loved it, but daddy's allergic so Felicia and Mia took it instead...

Every month since she was born I have tried to take a hair picture. It's wild but it sure is beautiful!!!

We were running and chasing each other today. She's in one of her halloween outfits. She's so beautiful!!!

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