My version :)

12 days until Christmas!!! So here is my version...

On the 12th day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

a huge mess in the toy room.

On the second day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, and a huge mess in the toy room.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the 4th day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the fifth day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

5 POOPY FINGERS.

4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the sixth day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

6[hundred] diaper changes, 5 POOPY FINGERS, 4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the seventh day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

7 massive baby fits, 6 [hundred] diaper changes, 5 POOPY FINGERS, 4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the eighth day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

8 sloppy kisses, 7 massive baby fits, 6 [hundred] diaper changes, 5 POOPY FINGERS, 4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the ninth day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

9 interrupted phone calls, 8 sloppy kisses, 7 massive baby fits, 6 [hundred] diaper changes, 5 POOPY FINGERS, 4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the tenth day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

10 minutes of tickling, 9 interrupted phone calls, 8 sloppy kisses, 7 massive baby fits, 6 [hundred] diaper changes, 5 POOPY FINGERS, 4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

11 ornaments broken, 10 minutes of tickling, 9 interrupted phone calls, 8 sloppy kisses, 7 massive baby fits, 6 [hundred] diaper changes, 5 POOPY FINGERS, 4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, & a huge mess in the toy room.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my babies gave to me--

12 missing binkies, 11 ornaments broken, 10 minutes of tickling, 9 interrupted phone calls, 8 sloppy kisses, 7 massive baby fits, 6 [hundred] diaper changes, 5 POOPY FINGERS, 4 loads of laundry, 3 meals they wont eat, 2 dirty (gorgeous) faces, & a huge mess in the toy rooooooooooooooooom.

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That was fun! In other news, Nora and I are all better! It must have been a 24 hour case because she woke up and ate great the next day and so did I. I still have felt a little off, but functional for sure. My mom got sick for a couple of days and Daniel felt queasy Wednesday night. He's fine though and my mom seems to be better.

Last night we were going to take the kids to see Santa at his little house on the square here in town. Turns out he's only t here on Saturdays from 11-2. I'm going to try to take them today but it's so cold I dont know if I'll bother. We went to dinner and came home. I had a good cry (something I've probably needed to do for awhile.) I feel very overwhelmed some days and instead of just letting myself have a break to talk to God and be alone, I push through it, ultimately taking it out on whoever is around me. The kids, Daniel, Jeni, mom. I know I'm being irritable and just cant stop. So I came upstairs, felt the deep urge to cry it out, and did. It was a good cry but I ended up facing alot of other things that I didnt know I was holding in as well.

Like how much I miss Nanny and how physically sick it makes me to know she doesnt get to see my babies, or hear their voices. It makes me want to double over in pain it hurts so bad. She would have loved their little red heads. She would have understood the intense stress that sometimes comes with having them so close, since she herself did it. She would have just enjoyed them so much. I'm so glad she is in Heaven and not suffering anymore on this earth. But oh my gosh do I miss her. This time of the year is so hard for all of us. I feel so sorry for my mom, even if she seems to be ok. I'm her daughter and can read her face and I just long for her to feel alright. I know she wont ever fully feel alright, however, because if I lost my mom I would never wake up the same on any given day.

I cried because I hate feeling aggravated by the kids. I love them SO much that its indescribable and yet some days just feel so incredibly overwhelming. The guilt of the way I'm feeling takes over and I lose it. I want to be a good, patient, loving mom. I feel that I do well most days, but I wish that I could just look at them, through everything, and feel patient and gracious. I know they're little. I also know they're so innocent. I also see their faces when they're testing me. haha. It's so hard most days. I just wish I could pick them up and squeeze them, kiss them and giggle with them instead of raising my voice or getting frustrated. It's hard.

Anyway, we are going shopping and to dinner tonight while Sara watches the kids. She's going to stay here so that we can stay out and get our shopping done. You know me...I hate being away from the kids for long, but I'm gonna try to suck it up so I dont have to make another shopping trip. If you know me, you also know I dont enjoy to shop. So, here's hoping we get it accomplished! I'm looking forward to spending the evening with Felicia and Alex and Daniel. It's gonna be fun, I'm sure! Tomorrow is the Christmas party for the Y. I'm excited for that! I'll update you all soon. Stay warm and safe. We love you!