Monday, February 9, 2009

Oh How the Lord Speaks!

I have a shin splint. The term "shin splint" isn't even a good definition for what it actually describes. I've had many in my days, playing softball and such. However, this one is killer because I have let it go on and I have kept on running. It's my own fault and I am discouraged that I let it happen and let it get so painful. Now I am wrapping, bengaying, and crying. I am taking a week or two off from running which leaves me devistated because I am in the middle of training for the half marathon which is only 2 months away. It's a setback and I'm so frustrated...not to mention in a whole lot of pain. This is an athlete's worst nightmare...or at least this runner's worst one. haha. I can still ride the bike and I still have to teach my classes but other than that it's rest, ice, compressions and more rest. Oh the joys.

So all of that brings me to this next point. I thought I was taking such good care of myself physically. I am disappointed that deep down I have known I was injured for weeks now. I let it go, pushed through the pain, stretched it out and yet still ended up not even being able to run on Saturday. hardly at all. It was awful. I am at the place where I no longer run because I think I have to or to lose weight or because I'm obsessive. I am running because I love to run. It leaves me feeling refreshed, energized, accomplished and strong. I enjoy it. And now I'm suffering.

Our spiritual walk with God is so much like that. We can quickly fall away from God and suffer in our relationship with Him because we turn our eyes to other things. Wordly things often leave us in pain and injured. Yet we dont take good enough care of ourselves to stop, rest, and pray--getting regrouped spiritually before the big injury which leaves us lonely, upset and frustrated. Lately, I feel spiritually starved. I wouldnt let myself starve physically so why have I allowed this to happen? It is rare that I find or make time to read my bible anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach to admit it, but it is what it is. It's the raw truth. So as a direct result, I am starving in my spirit. I feel it. It is empty and hungry for God. My spirit is dying because I am not feeding it with His word. Now, dont get me wrong--I am encountering God every day. I sing worship to the kids as I always have, we pray daily (many times usually), I have conversations with at least someone about God every single day and yet I still feel this deep yearning in my spirit that needs to be quenched with His word. It's awesome how as Christians we can feel that hunger, isnt it? And it's so easy to fill yourself up which is also awesome!

I also love God because I truly believe he needed me to be injured physically to see the corrilation with His spirit. It is how I am relating many things in my life lately and because He is so personal, He spoke to me through my hurt and busted leg. He's an amazing, loving Father. I truly believe He will restore and heal my leg as soon as I attempt to restore and heal my own spirit and relationship with Him. Reading God's word is personal. Everything else we do in our walk can be done with someone else or for someone else. But a quiet moment in the Word of God doesnt have to be shared and sometimes shouldnt be. It's living and speaks directly to us in our time of need or even in our time of contentment. It's perfect and complete and I love that I have a hunger to get back to a place of fellowship with my Lord by reading His word. I would make time to train physically if I were able, so now it is time to make time to train myself spiritually again.

Thank you Lord for your revelation in my life and for using me to touch someone who also needed to hear my heart today. I love having time and fellowship with you and I know how you long for it as well. Thank you for continuing to use me even though my spirit is somewhat dry. You're awesome, Lord!
In other news, today is Pawpy's birthday.

We're going to lunch with him and hopefully he will have a great day! We love you Pop.

1 comment:

Jackelyn said...

Ouuuch! I can imagine how awful that feels Ramee! And I'm sorry that it has happened so close to the half marathon!

I hope that it heals quickly hun!