Saturday, June 20, 2009

Are You Listening?

In the last few days I have noticed my body changing. I am not exercising due to my leg injury and although I am not gaining weight, I am not gaining muscle either. Instead I am doing just the opposite. My legs felt strong and muscular just a few weeks ago. The last few days I have noticed a drastic drop in the amount of noticeable muscle in my legs, mostly around the back of my thighs. All of the work that I put into getting physically strong and making my body look good feels so wasted. I am frustrated, lethargic and completely bummed at my current situation. I wanted to take place in a Leukemia run this summer. I wanted to run that half marathon. Will I ever do those things now? If I were judging by my leg pain today I would bet not. I'm so discouraged.

I am thankful, however, for this awesome relationship that I have with the Lord. I do not merely memorize verses or sit for 30 minutes exactly every single day reading my Bible. I do not always have a chance to make it to Sunday morning church in my best dress. What I do have is a love affair with the King. A "relationship" (last time I checked) means listening and communicating. It means making sacrifices that arent always comfortable for ourselves in order to please the person that you love and adore. That is truly what I have with this Savior. He speaks to me almost daily. My ears are opened to His thoughts and words because I pray for them to be. My heart is willing to accept what He gives me because it is for ME. No one can take it away or change it. What the Lord says to my heart absolutely goes.

With all of that being said, as I was having a pitty party for myself over my leg today I heard the Lord speak to my spirit once again. He has such a gentle way of approaching me yet He can humble me so incredibly quickly. Here is what I got while I stood and listened and allowed the Lord to speak into my life today.

I was doing dishes, as I almost always am when the Lord decides to show up on my behalf. He began explaining to me once again how our spiritual lives can relate to my current situation. Take my injury for example. I am not losing weight during this time of not working out, yet I am clearly not getting any stronger either. It is the same as when we neglect spending time in His word or having fellowship with Him. We may not lose the fact that we are saved, or loved or forgiven. But we most certainly will not grow or become stronger in our walk with Him either. There are times when we need spiritual rest as much as we do physical rest, and although it is not usually as long as it has taken my leg to heal, He may sometimes require longer than what others would believe to be right. And thats ok. Resting in the Lord and His gentle comfort that can fall so peacefully is enough. It truly is enough. There are also times when we have to sacrifice the things that we set our hearts and minds to do in order to pursue something that Jesus knows is better. Spiritually speaking we need to be prepared for that. If you made the same promise to the King as I did many years ago, you will understand how important it is to yield to Him when He comes calling. I said, "Whatever it is you want me to do, wherever it is you want me to go, no matter who I need to speak to in order to bring You glory, I will do it. I will go. No matter what." And that has never changed. I still mean it. So if this is something I must go through in order to bring Jesus glory, I will most definitely continue to endure it. I will absolutely get through it without being a cry baby. My leg hurts. The only thing that will bring me strength and healing is rest. Spiritually speaking do you see where the Lord is going with this? Life is painful as well. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL BRING YOU STRENGTH AND HEALING IS REST.
In Him.

Jesus. Lord. Savior.

He is carrying me through this time. I am letting Him. I am yielding to His will and I believe that ultimately His will is healing. It may take time...or it could happen today. The Lord sees and knows my heart. I know that He is not withholding a healing from me because our God longs for us to be well. He loves us and cares for our needs. Nothing that brings us pain is unimportant to our God. After all, He created us. He wants us to listen when He speaks. He has so much to say. It takes so little in order for you to love Him. He doesnt have a time limit for reading your Bible, nor does He truly care if you kneel and cross your hands to pray. He wants your heart and your fellowship. He's the distant lover waiting at home for you to come running through the door, dropping all of your baggage and surrendering to the moment of beautiful embrace and passion. Our Lord. Our sweet sweet Lord.

I hope that what He spoke to me also spoke to your heart.

Are you listening? Are you willing to try?

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