I have not been sleeping well for a little over a week due to the medicine I'm taking. My thoughts are everywhere, I'm making lists in my mind and I cant seem to just find rest. My body is tired, but my mind is distracted and full of useless thoughts.
2 nights ago I had a headache. In my case, many times a headache turns into a migraine rather quickly so before I let it get to that point I either take a pain pill or an Imitrex which it a special medicine for migraines. This night I took a pain pill and hoped to find some sort of sleep in the midst of the thoughts in my head.
I did rest. But the Lord woke up me up from a very comfortable sleep to pray. This happens sometimes and I am always so humbled by the divine spirit of the Lord. The fact that He would wake me, knowing I will be obedient to pray for someone or something always inspires me to hit my knees and cry out for His mercy regarding the specific situation He lays on my heart.
I love in scripture when the Holy Spirit is introduced to us as the "Comforter."
John 16:7- 8 says:
"Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away; for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send Him unto you. And when He is come, He will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment."
I am so in awe of the fact that we can have such an intimate relationship with Jesus that He would send the comforter to wake us up from sleep, quicken our hearts and lead us to pray for a specific situation.
In Matthew 7:21-23 we see a verse where Jesus tells of how many will know of Him, but not everyone that calls to Him will enter the kingdom. He even goes on to say that many people will do and say things in the name of Jesus that will merely be in vain.
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"
The last statement strikes up a fear in my heart so deep. But a healthy fear of the Lord is necessary to serve and love Him. I truly believe there are many who know of God but lack the the truly knowing Him. I long to speak Him, live Him, breathe Him, hear from Him, be used of Him, walk with Him, serve Him, give to Him, fellowship with Him. I long to have a heart for Him alone. What a great and generous gift Jesus gave to us when providing His life so that we can dwell with Him in spirit every moment of the day (and night.) With the comforter brings the comfort of knowing that we truly do know Him. After all, you cannot be awaken to such things of God if you are not fellowshipping and communicating with Him. It is Jesus' way of making sure that we have an all access account to Him in every way that we may need or desire. He makes things so easy for us and we are incredibly blessed to serve such an awesome and living God!
I simply encourage you today to seek out the Holy Spirit in your life. Ask God to open your ears to hear His voice. Ask God to quicken your spirit to the things He would have you to see and be aware of. He will do that...and you will be amazed.
Two years ago today Jimmy went to Paradise with Jesus. Thinking of this today reminds me again just how awesome the hope of Heaven truly is. I know that Jimmy loved and served God with his entire heart, soul, spirit and mind. He desired to grow with Him and do His will no matter what. He had a deep and passionate flame burning inside of him during the time of his new found love for Christ and he truly went to Heaven leaving us all with the deepest peace. His life on earth was far too short, but how awesome to know that eternity was awaiting and he is celebrating every day because he chose to serve a God that loves him.
I will always remember where I was, what I was doing, how the room smelled, what Nora was dressed in, the solitude of my husband's face and every tiny detail of this day from now until I join Jimmy in Heaven. We inevitably miss him every single day. My husband lost one of the closest most intimate friendships he had ever shared in his chrisitan walk. I lost one of the most genuine male companions other than my husband that I may ever know. He cared for all of us so deeply and he knew we loved him the same. We shared life with him every chance that we could and were thankful to do so.
I know in my heart that Jimmy's friendship molded our entire outlook on our lives and how we want to share them with the people that we love to the depth of who we are.
That is why our home is always open. We will always have an open bedroom, an extra plate of dinner, extra clean towels, many extra Bibles and a safe place from the rest of this world for anyone that needs to be here with us. We refuse to live our lives shut off from anyone who crosses our path and because of this we have not only grown in our marriage, but in our life and walk with the Lord. It has expanded us to a place of love and service that we never knew existed but that we were clearly called for.
I cannot wait to see Jimmy's handsome face and hug him. I cannot wait until he can see Braden and give Nora that great big horse-dog he promised to terrorize me with. Someday. Someday soon the Lord will return and because of the comforter; because of our hope of Heaven, we will see him again. I am so in awe of our loving King.
I forgot this picture of Nora yesterday, but I cant resist showing you. She is by far the most gorgeous thing I have ever laid eyes on. You agree, dont you?
Have a good day everyone. Love on and appreciate the people around you. Life is too short to consider the faults, flaws, or circumstances. The Lord surrounds us by people who care and love us so deeply and it is our responsibility to love and care for them the same. It will bring you such freedom and joy! We love you all.
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