Daniel & I have prayed and talked many years about whether or not we believed in the use of birth control in a marriage. Being Christians, it is hard for us to imagine anyone or anything controlling whether or not we have children, other than God himself. However, it was also hard for us to imagine getting pregnant time and time again. Because I mentioned a little bit about this in today's letter to Michelle Duggar on my Letter's Blog, I thought I should mention it here as well. However, I don't want to make a full blown post about our current status until we have a little bit of a discussion about it here first!
I think it is important to use wisdom when this topic is discussed.
I want to open up this discussion on my blog for a couple of reasons:
1. I know many of you are Christians and have pondered these thoughts as well. Maybe you have come up with an answer for you and your family. Maybe you have asked for council and can give us some insight on what you learned. Maybe you are still confused and need some insight of your own. What does the Word say? What are other Christians doing?
2. I'm sure some of you have never even give this a second thought. You've been using birth control for a very long time and will continue to use it, but would like to hear other's opinions as well.
3. It is always insightful for me when we discuss topics that are sometimes taboo. My opinion on this specific topic has changed dramatically in the past couple of years. In a couple of days, I plan to tell you why!
So that's it. Let's talk about it.
What are your thoughts on birth control? What form are you or have you used? What were the side effects and will you continue using that specific kind?
Please leave any comments in the comment section or if you don't feel comfortable leaving it out in the public eye, email me! rameelin@mail.com
I'll answer any of your questions and reply to all comments as they come in! I would love to simply start the conversation and see where it goes. Let's challenge one another in our diverse thinking!
13 comments:
I got on birth control at me 6 week postpartum checkup. I was on it before I got pregnant but there was a month that was screwed up and that's where I got pregnant. So regardless if you're on birth control or not, if God wants you to have a baby, it will happen. That's just what i think. And we say that even though Rosslyn wasn't planned, she was in God's plan.
I've been on birth control since I was 16. For a while it was the pill. I hated having to remember taking it everyday though. So, after I had Miranda I decided I wanted something a little more idiot-proof. I got the Mirena IUD and I have never once regretted it. I don't have to think about anything. Adam and I can be as spontaneous as we want and the best part: NO PERIOD! :)JMHO
I havent been on BC since November of 2003 when Aaron left for Bootcamp.
Both of our monkeys were planned. We're just VERY careful. :)
I myself have been pondering this question recently. I work in a Catholic based hospital and it is very deeply rooted in it's faith and a large portion of that focusing on natural family planning and all the it encompasses (birth control and surgical procedures similar to birth control). While going through my orientation for Labor and Delivery, we had a class on St. John's ethics and birth control was a large part of it. I am not Catholic and do not pretend to completely understand their doctrines, but since having that class, I personally have thought a lot about birth control. I have done it both ways; I have used birth control and I have tried natural family planning. The latter resulted in my 2 wonderful boys. I have tried to continue on birth control after their biths but I do not like the way it makes my body feel not of my own.
At this current time, I am not on anything but am trying to be very careful this time around. I have even thought of taking natural family planning classes. Eventually, I would love to have another if that is God's will, but I do not feel that it's wrong of me to try and be extra careful to not have one so soon. On the same token, if it is His plan for my husband and I to parent another, it's going to happen; birth control or not. I've seen it with my own eyes. Men who have even gotten a vasectomy and their wives have gotten pregnant. Women who have planned on having a coil placed in their tubes to prevent pregnancy, and have gotten pregnant before the procedure can occur.
As far as Michelle Duggar is concerned, professionally I am in awe that she is able to carry her babies, but if she and Jim Bob have the means, the patience and the faith to continue as they are, then who are we to judge? It was even said by Michelle that she thought she was done mothering babies, but again, God had a different idea.
I'm not sure how she isn't bald by now, because I surely would have been pulling out all of my hair with 19 kiddos :)
On a different topic, it did bother me on a professional level to she Anna and Josh Duggar birth their baby at home. I've seen a lot of things happen during labor and delivery and in the blink of an eye things can turn. Possibly another discussion topic? How do you feel about natural child birth versus an epidural and delivering at home via a hospital?
My husband and I were struggling through this back this spring. I actually blogged about it as well on my old site. (I just switched to blogger this summer.)http://mtc92405.xanga.com/?uni8360163-direction=p&uni8360163-nextdate=2%2f21%2f2009+10%3a43%3a55.180#module-8360163 Here is the link to that post. What we finally concluded after much debating and prayer is that any kind of medicinal/hormonal birth control is not an option for us. However, we continue to use other harmless forms of protection, and we wait for the prompting of the Holy Spirit when and if it is time to add to our family.
We also concluded that this is not a black and white issue and that every family has to earnestly seek wisdom through prayer and communication with each other for what is right for their family. I am intersted to hear what your thoughts are!
I've been struggling with this and still don't know how I feel about it. Right now I am on BC pills, but in the last three months they have seriously messed my womanly world up. Steve doesn't want to chance not being on BC of some sort, but I hate taking it. I do believe that regardless of BC or not God's will outweighs anything we might do to prevent getting pregnant again.
I have read though that what a lot of BC pills do is make mucus thicker so that a fertilized egg can't implant on the uterus, which really bothers me, too.
So, I am looking forward to your thoughts on this and seeing what everyone else says.
Shea-I completely agree with you. I believe that whatever you're doing or not doing to prevent becoming pregnant, if God wants you to have a child, you will.
Anjie, I have heard so much about the IUD. I even considered it at one point. I decided against it but as you can see, I am not against birth control by any means.
Amanda--
I love your response! I was raised Catholic and my family still attends mass every week. However, the doctrine of no birth control wasn't exactly taught in Sunday school so I didnt learn much about it until I was much older. Even then I had to do alot of my own research. I know that "Natural family planning method" is definately derived from Catholic teaching and thinking. However, allowing yourself to know your body and therefore trying to prevent having a child naturally isnt necessarily the same concept. Or maybe they are, it's just that some people may not give doctrine the credit for their decision:)--kind of like you said you didnt. I'll write all about my own experiences and thinking in Monday's post!
As far as Michelle goes, I am in awe of her body as well. There again, God makes a way when there seems to be no way. This mother that He sees fit to raise all of these children is physically able to do so, and that is mind-blowing. She has great patience, clearly. I cannot even fathom.
As far as having children at home, I have personally experienced a few scary moments in the delivery room. It's just not worth the risk, I believe.
I will definately make a post in the near future about my ideas/beliefs about natural child birth and the use of medication and epidurals! I love this!!!
Thanks for your input ladies, keep it coming!
Tiffany, I love your old site! Gosh the things we have in common and the way we think about things is incredible! I'm reading your posts and literally thinking they could be my words. I loved your post about this topic and encourage all of my blogger friends to visit her link as well!!! It challenged my thinking and convicitions alot. I love reading what you write about being a mom to a boy. Many times on this blog I have written so many of the same things. Anyway...thanks for your insight and thoughts on family planning!!!
Kalli, I remember you struggling with this topic awhile back as Rache and I were too. I hope to speak a little bit of truth into my post in a couple of days, but I'm afraid I may not have the answers either. It's far more complex than we can fully grasp. But at least we're discussing it and hopefully we'll all feel led to a place of peace about the right thing for our families!!!
Ramee~
I actually have been praying trying to decide what we are going to do personally to so I absolutely love that you have brought this up for discussion!
We personally have been using some not very effective methods of bc (pull and pray lol.. I know I need to go back to health class. lol).. and the rain coat! lol. We are praying about I guess we'll see. I love to see what others think on this topic! :-)
I remember me, you, and Daniel talking about this at one point at Burger King or something haha. Obviously I am not too sure on it either to be honest. I used birth control after we got married for about 2 1/2 years. However, when we were trying to get pregnant, I learned way more about the woman's body and the "natural family planning" aspect of it. I can roughly pinpoint ovulation days and days when I know for certain, unless God intervenes otherwise, I am not fertile. However, doesn't that still seem like control? What it comes down to in my mind is that birth control can be looked at just like medicine, or wearing a seatbelt, or cooking our food properly before consuming--we control those aspects of our lives because God gives us common sense. If you don't wear your seatbelt and you wreck, you will fly out of your car. So should we instead say "well, I know God will protect me" and not do it? I don't think so. With that in mind, I also think who are we to think we can control what God is doing anyway? In a way we're fooling ourselves if we think God is answering to some pill. As far as what the pill does and what it' made of, I have heard people say some things and I myself am not too sure what's in them and what they scientifically do, however, again-I think that so long as your heart is not evil intended and you're not saying "Lord, I really want to thicken my mucus and prevent this child from implanting because I do not want that baby and I will not love it and care for it"- God will honor your attempt at trying to manage a household. Which is what I think all these "methods" are-trying to manage a home and a family life rather than manage God's Will-I don't think that's anyone's heart's desires. Obviously God knows what is best, but He doesn't always speak audibly and clearly down to earth and tell us what we should do. So we are left to manage this earthly life, by spiritial principles and that is a fine line. I believe the Lord looks at us and sees we are just trying to do things correctly and rightly before him. Maybe your husband just lost his job and financially(in your earthly eyes) it doesn't look right. Maybe your last child has special needs and (in your earthly eyes) it would be so much to bear with another one. Maybe you don't think your body is capable(in your earthly eyes) of going through it again--God knows us and God is gracious! He knows our intent and reason and I personally don't think He is going to be angry with out attempts at trying to maintain a functioning home as best we can on this earth. I say "earthly eyes" because obviously if you are meant to have more children, He will knit them together and He will teach you something in the process. Anyway, sometimes I think people can get in such a technical fuss about "what is right" that we forget that God examines our heart.. and that is what we need to make sure is "right." Whew, hope my imput helps, I don't have the perfect answer either, but our God is perfect!!
A little while longer ladies...I'll be making my post tomorrow. My internet has been acting up so if it's not tomorrow it will be first thing on Tuesday! I cant wait to hear from more of you.
Rache--I remember talking about this so much with you. You know I feel the same in so many ways as you but it's something I love to dig into and pick people's brains about:) Loved your response and I'm sure it did give alot of worried ladies some peace of mind. You're a great woman of God and I love love love you.....
I've been on BC for 5 years (minus the time I was pregnant). I was "on birth control" when I got pregnant with Cole. I say that in quotes because I had screwed it up that month + was on antibodics so like Shea said, I think if God wants you to have a baby, it will happen. I can't imagine my life without Cole now--crazy days & all. =) I will stay on BC until we start trying again and if we get pregnant again before then, so be it. We're just waiting until we are more financially stable to have another one buuuut sometimes your greatest plans don't really matter to the man upstairs.
Ramee ~ I had been on BC since high school and took the same type of pill for 5 years until we decided to try for our first baby (Cassie) It took 8 long months to get pregnant. After Cassie *I did not take the pill while breastfeeding because they told me it would slow milk production sometimes and I didn't want to take anything that would deprive my baby. Anywho I went back on the pill (same one) after I was done nursing. I went off it for 4 weeks and we were pregnant with Nathan the next month. Same thing went back on it. Went off when we were going to have AJ and 3 weeks later I was pregnant. I was thinking all the hoping and praying I did to get pregnant with Cassie made #2, and #3 happen very quickly. lol Then after AJ, they didn't make the pill I had used for 12 years! So I went on Seasonique and I felt horrible all the time I was depressed (not clinically or anything) I didn't want to do anything and didn't feel right. It took 5 months of me taking it to realize that was the problem. I went off it and felt great. Brad and I had talked at length about being "done" with 3. Then we went and saw our friends who had their baby on AJ's 2nd B-day. Brad wouldn't hold her because he didn't want to want another baby. I was bawling in the elevator when we left. And we both said who says we can't have 4?? So 3 weeks later we were pregnant again! We have chosen for Brad to have a vasectomy after this baby girl is born. I do not want to be on the pill ever again! And we think our family is going to be complete. But if He has other plans that is ok too!
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