Thursday, December 10, 2009

first vs. third.

Even after having my second child, I always found it amusing to watch first time mom's. The way they interact with their baby and even the enthusiasm during their first and most special pregnancy. They're all special, for sure, but there is just something so unique and powerful about becoming a mother for the first time. I have to sit back and laugh sometimes at the tendencies of first time mom's. The worrying, the checking, the constant holding. I loved every minute of it with Nora, don't get me wrong. I was there too. And now I am a 3rd time mom-and how things have changed! I long for that first time feeling once again, and in reality I know that I won't ever feel that peaceful anticipation as I did with my first born.

Take a look at how my ideas of pregnancy have changed from first baby until now, for instance:
First Pregnancy--
I wanted to look pregnant the day I found out. I felt like I was showing by 8 weeks and wanted everyone around me to see my invisible pooch as well. No one did and looking back at pictures I now see why. I gained 55 pounds of lovely, enjoyable baby weight and enjoyed every second of being much bigger and what felt like, much happier.
Second Pregnancy--
Had no choice but to look pregnant immediately because I hadn't lost much of my baby weight from Nora, considering she was only 5 months old when I got pregnant. I absolutely was showing by 10 weeks and still didn't mind much. I gained 50 more pounds with him and enjoyed all of the McDonald's #10's I could eat.
Third Pregnancy--
I'm now trying desperately to stay at my pre-pregnancy weight for as long as I possibly can. Am praying that no one is noticing these first couple of pounds I may be putting on due to the extreme hunger I am feeling. Hiding every part of my body that looks as if it may be changing at all. Am craving healthy food. Want to gain no more than 30 pounds. Period.

Those are just a few examples of how my mind has altered since being pregnant with my first child. Let alone my parenting styles. I know that it is all normal. As a mom you begin to adjust to life with more than one baby and no longer have the time to sit around and hold an infant for 9 hours a day while forsaking all other duties. It's just not reality. Although I long for moments when I could do that, I am so thankful that life has fallen into a groove. A pattern by which I now live by.

I am anxious to get further along in this pregnancy. To feel the baby moving and to see my body changing. I'm just not quite as anxious as I was the last 2 times. I even have to remind myself many times a day that I'm pregnant or other people have to help me remember. Thankfully I feel the same this time as I did with the redheads. I am not sick or nauseous. I am extremely tired, but I was tired anyway. I'm raising toddlers for goodness sake;) It feels normal to be pregnant. It feels natural to me. It could be because I will have spent 3 out of the last 5 years feeling this way. I somehow feel like a seasoned mother, although I know I am far from that. Maybe I feel like an experienced pregnant woman. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's definitely far from first time mom. It's exciting but not new. It's refreshing but not all I focus on. It's a blessing. The greatest blessing!

So mom's everywhere--do share!
How was being a mom the second time around different from the first? What do you notice about new moms that is different from you as a mother now? Do you find it funny or think back to how you acted and remember how exciting it all felt?
I absolutely never want to damper some one's experience
e as a first time mom. It's the most precious time of your life! I loved it and pray you do as well! Cant wait to hear from all of you!


Kalli said...

I was a lot less worrisome with Zach as I was with Ry. I am really thankful in a way that the kidney condition-if it had to come-was at least with my second pregnancy or I would have been stroking out the entire time. I was so much more at peace. I looked at weight gain a lot differently, along with stretch marks. The biggest difference I think was how I have mothered them since I've had them though :)

Of Pandas and Pirates said...

Well, I don't really have experience being a second time mom but I have had two pregnancies that were as different as night and day. I found that with Miranda I wasn't able to truly enjoy being pregnant until I was past 30 weeks. I was too worried about every little thing. I'm hoping for my next pregnancy I won't worry as much. Not sure how the whole parenting thing will go with two of them.

Tiffany said...

I'll be back to answer - I promise! Love your honesty! Glad you are feeling well! {grin}

Tiffany said...

Mmm - with my first pregnancy, I ate my way through, and relished every lump, bump, strecth mark, hiccup, heartburn, kick, sciatic nerve pain, etc. I was so very excited to become a Mama, and I paraded my belly for all to see! But I was rather miserable and uncomfortable - and oh so sick!
With Scotty I was more careful with my diet, and I was more active. I didn't get as sick. He was easier and more comfortable to carry. But I was overwhelmed and terrified by the upcoming labor. (We had a very difficult labor with Cadi,and came close to losing her.) However, God was so gracious and brought Scotty three weeks early into my arms, by way of a relatively easy and uneventful birth. I worried a lot about Scotty while pregnant, though. He had kidney issues that we were unsure of the severity of.
I hope that God allows me to become prgnant again, and that I can truly enjoy every moment of it and focus on being present in the miracle that is pregnancy.

Janice said...

My first pregnancy was the most exciting time of my life. Back then, 28 years ago, new mothers were pretty ignorant to all that was going on in their bodies, so I think I just went with the flow of pregnancy and didn't ask many questions. What the doctor had to say each month was like the law and I just accepted it. I had one pregnancy book and it was like my bible. 4.5 months into my first pregnancy, I found out I was having twins. This automatically put my excitment level on a whole new plane. Not only did I wait in excitied anticipation, but the whole family did as well. I felt special, unique and deserving of all the attention anyone wanted to give me.

Pregnancy # 2 was quite a different situation. My beautiful twin girls were only 7 months old when I found out I was pregnant, so the excitment I felt with the first pregnancy quickly turned to embarassment with the second. I thought more about what other people would think, rather than feeling excitment or anticipation. I was exhausted due to having two newborns in the house and exhausted due to being newly pregnant. My 2nd baby was born so near to Christmas that even the timing of the due date made things all the more difficult for me. The end result, we now had an adorable baby boy, which for me was the icing on the cake after having two girls.

Having lost our son to SIDS, pregnancy #3 was somewhat like the first in excitement. We were thrilled yet scared. With the third we didn't focus so much on what sex we wanted, we just wanted a healthy baby. I grew much bigger with the third than I had with the second, so there was the excitment of wondering if we were having twins again. The pregnancy itself was happier for me. My twins were a bit older and I felt, like you, more seasoned at mothering. I loved being pregnant and once again felt an excited anticipation for the arrival of this baby because of what we had gone through with the loss of our son.

The arrival of our 3rd daughter was such a blessing from the moment she entered the room and in a way, we were happy that we did not have another son.

Each pregnancy was so different, each time my emotions were in a different place but in the end, all of them had aspects that made them special or miserable, LOL.