Friday, April 16, 2010

"For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing."
--2 Corinthians 2:15--

Today was a sweet day. The aroma of Christ surrounded me first thing this morning when I woke to a quiet house. Usually I wake to a redheaded boy holding his blanky in the hallway. He is remarkably demanding early in the morning and although I enjoy that time with him, I savored the time alone this morning. I sat in our guest bedroom and spent time quietly speaking with the Lord. It wasn't long, but it was sweet. It revived me.

Braden woke shortly after and got into his normal routine.
Chocolate milk, cartoons and demands.
I babysat for a little while.
Abby came with Scarlet.
Jennifer came with her 2 boys.
Ashley came with sweet baby Shawn.
And in the midst of it all, I could smell the aroma.
The fragrance of Christ.

...and I found myself wondering,
"Am I being the fragrance of Christ? Do I exude His great love...?"
In my impatience and frustrations, I feel as if I do not. Yet I know that I cannot focus my attention on those moments alone. Those moments are fleeting.
Of course there are many moments when I feel impatient.
I wish I didn't. I pray for guidance.
Of course there are many days when I feel like all I have done is yell.
I wish I didn't. I pray for strength.
There are weeks when I wonder if I have done enough with my children to show them the awesome love I feel for them.
And then I realize that I have. I am here. I am doing my best. I am devoting my life to teaching them the love of God. They are learning, thriving, and growing.
We all are.

My only desire is to be a sweet fragrance.
I am not perfect, nor will I be. I am striving to make it through each day demonstrating the grace and mercy of an awesome God whose love I do not deserve.
I pray that others smell that fragrance of tenderness and compassion from my spirit.
Today, I felt it all around.
It was a beautiful day.

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