Tuesday, May 4, 2010

rambles on a tuesday.

Last week was a rough one. I have never been so sick in my entire life. I still don't feel great, but at least I can eat.
At the end of the week I really felt bad and decided I needed to do a little something for myself.
Alot of women will say that you should wear your hair long if your husband likes it long; that you should want to please your husband.
I agree that we should want to be pleasing for them, but here is my opinion on the matter:
When you feel beautiful to yourself, you will look beautiful to him.
He will sense your confidence. He will be pleased with your ambition to get ready and look attractive.
So style your hair the way you like it.
Cut it, color it--do whatever it is that makes you feel sexy so that he will appreciate your ability to do so. It is not being less submissive. It's simply thinking about yourself a little as well-
and that is ok.
By the way--I just got the back trimmed up, mine is actually still growing out from the pixie that I rocked in January.

So back to my rough week--
Not only was it rough because I was sick, but spiritually I was completely dry. Empty. Frustrated. Of course when you don't feel good physically it takes a toll on everything within you. I battled some things internally and am still trying to conquer a few more. It is a journey, this walk with the Lord. It is not always cut and dry, or simple. It can be messy and complicated.
However, to be called of the Lord to do His work is worth it. It's amazing.

Sunday evening Daniel & I led worship at church and it was wonderful. To be with him during such an intimate time and know that in our marriage, we are designed for this --
well, that's intense.
Some people never fully grasp their calling. We happen to share one.
It's pretty awesome.
We have been doing alot of studying, talking and learning about the art of worship. It's a pretty heavy load to carry if you are unaware of the depth and intensity of what it is you are doing, leading people into worship.
Worship: it's what we were created to do.

What's even more powerful is the idea that out of everyone in the entire world, I happened to find the one that God made for me and me alone. And we just happen to share a calling. Alot of marriages and the people in them are involved in ministry. It's just that it is usually a separate calling. Or one is called and the other assists. It has been that way for a long time with us--Daniel leading worship and me tending to the children. And it will be like that at different times in our life as new babies come.
[yes, I said 'babies'--because ya just never know;)]
But for now, we are enjoying this time of ministering together. It's incredibly special.
My husband has an awesome gift.

On yet another note, I am also having a hard time with my girl this week:
I know, it's hard to imagine being frustrated with that face.
Those eyes. That hair. That smile. Those cheeks.
But I have been.
I haven't really felt that frustration with Nora before but this week she is challenging me. On purpose, I believe. And pushing me. And trying me.
I am enduring it and pushing through.
We are praying together and singing songs in the midst of one of her famous meltdowns. It's all just exhausting. But this time will surely pass. It always does.
She is such a sweet lady. She's just learning how to push my buttons and in the meantime I am learning patience.

Today something new and exciting may take place in our lives. I'm not ready to share quite yet because we are still unaware of the outcome. All I know is that things may be shifting and either way, the peace I feel is incredible.

For now, I'm heading outside with the redheads and their daddy.
It will surely be an awesome day.

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

I love your hair - so pretty. I will be praying for you.