raising redheads

Dear Mabel,

Everything about you amazes me. Everything about being your mom excites me. You are such a precious gift. Sometimes I watch you sleep and study every part of you. I love comparing you to your brother and sister yet somehow, you are very different. You, Mabel, are unique in so many ways. You are unique in the best of ways. Your sweet baby body will only be this way for a short time. I am breathing you in every day. I long for time to slow and yet it does not. I am fully present in this moment with you and I am embracing the quiet glances that you sneak me throughout the day. I hope you feel my sincere and deep affection and then you look at me--and I know--you do.

You make my heart beat. You make it beat in a new way-a way that is for you alone. In fact, for each of my children there is a different beat. You have brought out in me a calm that I never knew existed. A peace. A gentle spirit. You have drawn from the well deep within me that was longing for serenity. In you, my love, I find that tranquil place.

There is nothing about you that I don't love immensely. All of you is incredible. I see God in you every single day. I see His hands at work in your being. You are His child, Mabel and I am simply the recipient of your life here. I will do my best to cherish these moments with you and honor God in my mothering of you. I want you to see Him in me someday too. I pray that I am able to show you His face so that someday you will recognize it easily.

Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how deeply I longed for you and prayed for you? I can't possibly explain in words how great my love for you is but I can tell you that I will do my best every single day to try and show you just how much I adore you. I want to protect you, respect you and teach you. I hope that I can shape and mold you into the woman that you are called to be. I pray that you will inherit qualities that are Godly and that you will trust in the Lord with all of your heart.

Although you are so tiny and innocent right now, someday I will have to look at you and explain that life can be difficult at times. In those moments that are hard, sad and challenging I want you to know that I will always stand beside you. I will always be on your team and I will do my best to protect you. You never have to worry whether you have an advocate or someone who will validate your feelings. You have that in me, my love.

I feel your love for me. I know how much you need me but I can also feel how much you want me. You desire me to be close to you at all times and I want the same from you. We are connected by the heartstrings, sweet girl. You and I will always have this bond because you are my daughter and I love you with my entire life, mind, spirit and soul. If I had to give everything to bring you into this world, I would have done it. That's how special you are to me. And you always will be.

I praise God for the gift of you every single day. I love you.

Mama