Thursday, October 28, 2010

.Mabel's Healing.

There are times when it is best to be still. Best to be quiet.
When I was first pregnant with Mabel, I dealt with so much fear over my pregnancy. It wasn't something I spoke of often. I kept quiet. Prayed.
I spoke to my husband, confided in my family and friends and prayed some more.

When I had Mabel, immediately I knew something was different about this little girl. She is so beautiful. So gentle. So calm.
The first night in the hospital, they took her at 3 am for a routine hearing screening. I felt a strange peace as they stepped back into the room, revealing that she had failed that initial test. They were going to re-test the next morning.
And again it was gut wrenching to hear that she had, once again, failed the screening; now for a second time.

I told very few people.
Me, of all people. Can you imagine? I love speaking God's awesome power into our lives and the lives of others. But I was terrified. Sad. Confused. Frustrated.

We started on a 3 month journey of follow up tests and screenings that has been exhausting. During the days that followed each test and led to the next, I found myself watching my newborn daughter constantly. I was subconsciously trying to figure out if she was truly hearing us.

She wasn't responding to noise. She wasn't startling like most newborns do. It was obvious that she wasn't hearing the way we would have hoped and yet we stood firm on the word.
"Give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life to those who find Him and health to all their flesh."

I found myself laying hands on her ears and pleading the blood of Jesus over my daughter. Test after test (4 total) she failed and yet I continued to pray. I continued to fast. I continued to believe for healing in our daughter. The report of the Lord is, "Yes and amen!"
Yes, our daughter is healed.
Yes, her ears are open.
Yes, she can hear us.
Yes, she is whole and healthy.
Amen and Amen.

We took her to the alter at church and let the elders pray over her. We asked those closest to us to pray without ceasing. They did. We went through the motions spiritually, knowing that by being obedient and faithful, our God would do a miracle in this little girl.

I began questioning myself. Why wasn't I telling everyone? Why did I have this strong conviction about being so quiet? Was I somehow doubting God and therefore not wanting people to know. Was I fearful of letting the enemy take reign in the situation?
All I knew was that the Lord was urging me to be quiet. Be still. Pray.

So I was trying my hardest to be obedient, trust the Lord and stay strong. It was difficult. There were definite times of sadness and frustration. Like after every hearing test when I would hear the Dr explain that she still isn't passing and there wasn't a clear reason why. We weren't getting any answers and I was sickened. I kept saying and believing that although the Dr's didn't have the answers, our God did. And always has. It was going to be fine no matter what. My hope lies in the Lord.

Finally, a couple of weeks ago we scheduled a more diagnostic test with an audiologist. The ABR test measures the electric responses from the hearing nerves and the brain. If there was a hearing loss, this was supposed to help pinpoint it and give us a more clear answer as to what we were dealing with.
The test lasted 3 hours. Mabel had to be still the entire time for the test to work as accurately as possible. I nursed her alot and shushed her alot. Although the test was painless, it was also grueling. It was emotionally exhausting for me. At the end of the day, the audiologist said she wanted to look over the results and call me in an hour. I couldn't stand the wait.
She called.
The results for Mabel's right ear were perfect. Her left ear was still 'not getting the results that they would like to see.' There was still not really any answers given that day and so my frustration was still present. However, knowing that God had already done a miracle in her right ear was awesome! We were so thankful. She was definitely hearing us and at this point I knew God had such big plans with this little girl and her testimony already!

We were referred to an ENT (ears, nose, throat) specialist who we saw this past Wednesday. He was supposed to be able to determine if she had fluid in her inner ear on the left side that was causing her to not pass this test. By doing all of this at such an early age, the hope is that we could prevent speech impairment and other complications in the future. Early detection and prevention are always the best, I believe and so even though it was exhausting and frustrating, I was thankful that we were taking the necessary steps to get the answers our baby deserved.

I sat in the ENT's office waiting for him to come in. I nursed Mabel and watched her as she watched me. I prayed once again.
"Lord, make this our miracle day. Reveal yourself now, God. We have been waiting..."

Mabel fell asleep and was still. quiet. I prayed.
The Dr. came in and immediately sat down. He didn't pick up an instrument. He calmly looked at me and said the following words,
"I have looked over Mabel's chart. I had our audiologist do the same. From what I can see, I have no reason to believe that she has any sort of hearing loss whatsoever."
My heart pounded.
He went on to check her ears. They looked fine.
"There is nothing that significantly proves that she isn't hearing and won't continue to hear perfectly."

And then my physician began whispering ever so softly...
"This was me. I did this. I healed your baby. I gave her to you, entrusted her to you and you obeyed me. Your baby has heard you all along; even from within the womb. You did not believe the words of doctors, instead you trusted in Me. You were faithful.
She is fine. Healthy. Whole.
Be silent no more. Explain what I have done within her. Be sure that everyone knows that I am God who reigns. I am God who heals."
And although I could have jumped up and down and ran around that office 2 days ago, I was strangely still. and quiet. Instead, I reacted as if I had known all along. Because I had. I trusted God so this news came as no shock to me. It was exciting, absolutely. But my God had the victory long ago. He had the victory at the cross. Death looked like it had won that day. And yet, 3 days later, victory rose.

Here we are, 3 months later--past the confusion, sadness, pity and wonder. Here we are past the one moment in my entire life where I felt no need to share every detail of something in order to bring God glory in His perfect time.
And victory rose, friends.
3 months later, victory rose.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."
Romans 8:28

Mabel's testimony is great! Powerful. Amazing.
Mabel is quiet. still. calm.
God chose her. He chose me. He chose you.
Your miracle is coming. Your victory day is near.


Verena said...

Oh Ramee, i am so glad that Mabel is doing fine!!That are really good news and i am happy with you.

Reese said...

Praise God! "I know my Redeemer lives." Redeemer, Healer, Comforter, Prince of Peace, Saviour, Everything.

Praising God with you, Ramee.

brandy said...

AMEN!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!

Ramee- I was in tears as I read this post! Our God is such an awesome, amazing healer!!!!! :)

Erin said...

Found your blog through my friend, Reese.

What an amazing testimony. This blessed me so much. I was in my office reading and trying not to sob inappropriatley at work.

I love how God gives us such an other-wordly peace in times like that. Thank you for sharing.

I cannot wait to see what else He will do with you and your daughter. I have a feeling this story is far from over.

Much love in Christ,

The Wickershams said...

What a beautiful story! So thrilled that all is well with your little lady.

Tiffany said...

Yes, yes, yes!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!! I am rejoicing with you. God is so good.