Thursday, February 10, 2011

the day before.

Today is the day before the 'big day.' Or the big day in my mind. Talking with the neurologist tomorrow could bring about no new answers for us, and I'm fully prepared for that.
Although I'm praying differently.

I'm praying for clear, direct answers. Answers that will continue to lead us in the right direction on this journey. Answers that will reassure me of all that I see is happening in my sweet girl.
And I cannot wait to meet with someone who will look at the entire picture and help me piece together this puzzle and hopefully fill that which is missing from our knowledge.
I spoke with the nurse today from our pediatrician's office. She said that she had the results of the MRI and was getting ready to fax them to the neurologist.
In that moment, I was so conflicted.
Did I want to ask for the results over the phone or wait until tomorrow?
I chose to wait.
The other kids have started to pick up on a few things about Mabel that they notice are different than Harper.
Nora said, "I'm right here, Mabel. Look at sissy! LOOK AT ME HERE, MABES."
She seemed frustrated but she's far to little to understand.
Although they know we have been taking her to the Dr, and I try to explain things in a way that they may understand, it's still hard for them.
So today I'm a mix of emotions.
A wave of them that comes and goes.
Anxious. Nervous. Anxious.
I'm trying to prepare my list of concerns so that I don't forget anything, although the therapist reassured me that the Dr. will see and know them without me telling her.
That reaffirmed to me the reality of this once again.
The reality...
Something is not quite right with Mabel.
Other people recognize it too.
But there's nothing we can do about it other than what we are already doing.

I'm hoping for answers that will bring reassurance and address my concerns.
Answers that will bring clarity to my mind and spirit and glory to the Lord.
Answers that will provide peace.
Answers that bring truth.
Answers that will allow others to see a God who is big, mighty, powerful and great.
Because He is.
He is greater.
Higher than any other.
And He made this precious girl in His image.
I rest in His peace today.

Updates tomorrow! Thanks for your love and prayers and for walking with me in this journey. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.


Sarah said...

I think about you and Mabel every single day. I hope you find some answers tomorrow. Please keep us all updated on your sweet little girl.

A few days ago I tried to explain to my girls that there was a baby that needed our prayer. They now ask me about Mabel everyday and remind me to pray for her at night.

I'm not only praying for Mabel but for your strength. Hang in there and keep on fighting until you find your answers!!

Good luck!

Verena said...

I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything is ok Ramee....hopefully it is something that you can change with a bit of physiotherapy or occupational therapy.

Amanda said...

Mabel has been on our minds and lips all week. Praying for answers and peace for you and your family.

Kalli said...

Praying that you get answers tomorrow and praying for sweet Mabel.

Yanick said...

You'll be in my thoughts, prayers.