Thursday, April 7, 2011

The kids played outside yesterday. It was warm and beautiful. The air blew swiftly across my cheek and I felt as my old self. I watched the kids climb and wrestle.

I took in their voices and appreciated their freedom.

Sometime about spring helps me breathe. The Lord is near as the ground dampens and the fresh grows through the earth.

I took Braden and Harper on a walk in the late afternoon. I turned up the zune and we all listened to worship as I watched the trees blow and the toes curl. The double stroller has always brought me such calm with the babies. There is nothing like the quiet of their voices and the patience of the road. Pushing them gives me physical strength and mental drive. I turned a corner down a new street and Braden asked why. Why not, I said? So we moved on toward the setting of the sun and as the colors erupted over the back hill, I felt relief.

Deep breath. I'm ok.

When we turned in the driveway, I placed Harper in the grass and took her socks off. I watched as her toes lifted from the coarse ground and she smiled, unsure of the vast yard. Wearing her jean jacket, giggles bellowed and I smiled; being fully present with her in the moment. Braden handed me his blanky and I looked to him with his binky in his mouth. All the moments of frustration fade away in a moment when he is innocent and little.

He grinned up at me in silence.

The days are longer now. Longer days are good for me and yet I'm so tired at the end of it. I crash quickly as I have just ran a marathon for my family. And I have.

Haven't we all? Us moms?

Don't we just run and run and run until we cannot.

I know one thing about us mom's. We have a heart connection. A connection to one another and to one another's children. It's strong and unmistakable.

And I am thankful for it. That connection; that very thing that is unchanging holds me steady and makes me strong.

These spring days with my children and the children of those I love are so delicate and fragile in my mind. They will never escape me and I want to slow down and sip my water slowly during this race. I want to feel the breeze of smile's and the chill of kisses. I want to endure this race with passion and grace, not just adrenaline.

So the fresh and the new are near.

And so is my perspective....once again.

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