Monday, July 4, 2011

We celebrated the freedom of friendship yesterday with a front yard cookout.  The kids swam, we ate, and we just enjoyed the company. 
 When it was over, I realized that I went through the whole day without thinking about all we're waiting on with Mabel right now.  I just enjoyed the children and my friends.  I had to remind myself that Mabel will be a year in just a couple weeks instead of dwelling on the delay that we're experiencing.  It was a nice change of pace for my mind..
 But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have lived this week like I used to--carefree, busy, and swallowed up by the things I adore. 
We have went to the beach, we have cooked out with friends, we ate corn on the cob, we caught lightning bugs, I went on bike rides, we had a garage sale, we went to Jake's horse show, we watched fireworks with more to come tonight...
And I did all of it without over thinking it.  I just took Mabel with me and did it.  Which is how life is going to go, regardless of any diagnosis. 
So I'm thankful.  I'm thankful that I've moved past some of my intense worrying and grieving enough to enjoy these lazy busy days of summer and focus on what really matters.  We can only truly live for this day anyway...the one we're in.  The Lord is specific when He tells us not to worry about our future because only He truly holds the plan.  It's easier to write and say than it is to do, but for once I feel like I understand and can experience it. 

I am looking forward to many more days of just 'being' with these children in the moment.  Whether the moment involves screaming, dancing, praising, crying or playing--I just want to be there; fully present with them.
I'm thankful for the grace of God and His ability to carry me.  The peace that I feel is beyond my understanding and I am thankful for that as well. 
Our God is in control.

Happy 4th of July!!! 

1 comment:

Rachel said...

Feel so blessed just to be your friend.

Feel so blessed to be able to share these days with you.

Feel so blessed to watch you grow, change, and thrive((and to teach me to do the same)).

Feel so blessed to swim with you, cook with you, walk with you, and talk with you.

Just love you.