Tuesday, November 8, 2011

fly on the wall.

If I were a fly on the wall of our home, looking down from above, it would be quite the sight indeed. 
 I would see a 5 year old girl singing off key and out of tune, dressed in layered clothing with confidence that extends through the moon.  I would see her learning at the kitchen table and manipulating a computer like a grown-up.  I would watch her read and be amazed at her skills.  Sometimes I would watch her fight with her brother or secretly encourage him to say and do bad things so that she can laugh when he gets in trouble.  I would see her mommy try to find time each day to spend with just her but usually fail because there are so many other needs that have to be met as well.  At the end of every day, I would watch mommy fight off her own guilt for this.
If I were a fly on the wall in this house I would see a boy.  A boy who wakes up wild and usually sends his mommy into a screaming rage by 8 am.  He is unphased and continues being a lion, or the hulk almost until bed time.  I would probably see him stop to take a couple breaks, sucking on his binky and rubbing the corner of his blanky between his first two fingers.  I would watch him make up names to call people, like 'skittle wart' or 'feebly lion,' and I would probably laugh silently as I watch him run by at the speed of light to get into more mischief.  I would see him dancing and singing to himself while writing his own words to a song that is actually very good, and as he sings to Jesus, I would probably be thankful.  Even as a fly.
 If I were a fly on the wall in this house, I would probably see a 14 pound girl whose hair must weigh half of that.  I would see her laying on the floor, smiling at nothing and bending her feet up towards her face to play with.  I would watch her roll from side to side, but never completely onto her tummy.  I would watch her mommy move her from the swing, to the exersaucer, to the floor, to the couch, to the bouncer so many times each day that it would exhaust even me.  If I were a fly, I would probably see her brother welcome her each morning with a sweet voice and a kind snuggle.  I would watch her mommy sanitize her hands and the house in order to open her button jammies and insert her new tube to give her a whole slew of medicines that will help her function well during this day.  And then I'll watch her do that again at night.  If I were a fly on the wall in this house, I might choose to keep my eyes on this girl so that I don't miss when she does something surprising and extraordinary.

I would see a mommy pouring 12 cups of chocolate milk each day and folding 4-6 loads of laundry.  I would watch her as she seems to wash a continuous chain of dishes and sweep the floors almost rhythmically.  I would watch as visitors pour in the doors and as mommy welcomes them with a smile, no matter what else is going on.  I would watch therapies and struggles.  I would watch tears and triumph.  I would watch as meals are made and promises are broken.  I would watch as cartoons are watched and letters are written. 

If I were a fly on the wall in this home, I would see a dog who is let outside to use the bathroom but chooses to hold it until she's back in the bathroom.  And then I would watch as mommy lets out a rugged roar of frustration and crawls on the floor with the bleach and a towel--many times a day.  I would watch as naps and hugs are given and bedtime runs late.  I would see playtime.  I would watch as the boy floods the bathroom during bath time and mommy has to drag him out of the room as she covers the floor with every towel they own.

If I were a fly on the wall of this home, I would see doubt, grace, happiness, frustration, fear, forgiveness, sadness, love, contentment, peace, laughter, loudness, screaming, calm, crying, patience, no patience, justification, discipline, control, lack of control, disarray, chaos, prayer, worship, questioning, wondering, wandering, straightening.
Laughter.  Dancing.  Laughter.  Dancing.
Friendships, Passion, Kissing, LoveMaking, and more Laughter.

I would see a family.  A family who is battling many things but who is doing it in love.  Who are determined to persevere, love each other and love the Lord.
I would see hope.

If I were a fly on the wall in this home...I would see Family.
[[It's always what you make it, ya know.]]

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