I heard the sound of tape being torn but I was schooling with Nora and thought it couldn't be so bad, no matter what was going on. A few minutes later after I heard a few aggravated growls coming forth from the bathroom, I snuck in to find him.
Harper throws a fit and Mabel lays beside her laughing. And tapping.
That's just how we roll.
Look like mom much?
Apparently we're big fans of love sandwiches around here.
I mean, who wouldn't be when there's so much love to gobble down.
We've still been sneaking in a little bit of Christmas each day. This has been a pretty magical month for us as our elf has been busy hiding in the crevices of our home, and in turn, our heart. It may sound silly but I haven't seen my children so ...well...child like in a long time.
It's the Christmas magic, you see.
We very rarely get out of our PJ's. Sometimes only for a little while to make a quick trip to the store but usually not. Even Mabel's therapists find me in my winter sleep pants and I don't care.
It's cozy. It's safe. All feels well with the world in my striped jammies.
Rache and I spend nights baking and talking. Eating and exercising. Laughing and crying.
We talk about life. Death. Grief. Marriage. Loss. Love. Hope. God.
And our nights turn into days that are passing quickly and faintly-just getting by, but together, and with intention.
It's my intention to write a book some day. It's my intention to be a good mom. It's my intention to never lead everyone to believe that I am perfect or that I have it altogether. Sometimes I make it a point to be over honest so you have no room to believe that our house is booming with fairies and unicorns and constant smiles with Christmas music to cue the goodness.
Sometimes it's slamming on the breaks in the Wal-Mart parking lot and screaming at your kids at the top of your lungs [then feeling so guilty for it afterwards.]
Sometimes it's not Christmas music but the sound of babies screaming, altogether, for an hour straight and two mommies looking at each other, wishing we were in a padded room (just the two of us.)
But then there are times....the times that are brilliant.
The ones where I feel at peace and like I am in the exact right place at the exact right time. When I'm doing homework with Nora and she's learning, when I'm reading to Braden and he's laying his head on my shoulder quietly, when I'm holding Mabel and I can smell her skin and hear her breath and then she turns around to look at me and smiles.
It's when I sit in the middle of the toy room while the kids are calmly playing with play dough at the table and I pour my heart out to my best friend the same way I have for almost a year and she still listens. She cries because she feels the depth of my pain and I do the same in return. It's those moments when the world is right and God is near.
Daddy has been working so much overtime. He is tired but I know he is doing it for us. He hears my worries about money and our future and as a man, he wants to fix it. No amount of money is worth him not being here, though. Soon he will be back to his regular schedule and we are waiting anxiously. He's tired. Would you pray for him?
And now some funnies from the mouths of my children to make you feel a little better about yourself:
Braden to me in the bathtub: "I can't stand to sit behind your big ol' butt."
Braden to my mom at church: "Nanny, I'm sorry."
She says, "Brother, you don't have to be sorry...you did a great job singing!"
Braden: "No, Nanny. I'm sorry for you. You have old skin."
My mom laughs and asks where at? Braden puts his head in his hands and rolls his eyes up and says, "I just had to tell the truth, Nanny."
Braden in the Christmas parade, riding with my dad in the county truck:
He's yelling "Merry Christmas!!!" loudly to everyone out the window.
Some boy yells at him first as they round a corner and says to Braden, "Merry Christmas to you!"
Braden rolls up with window and says, "I'm done. That's it."
Later he rolls back down the window and starts yelling and waving again. Then he randomly turns to Jeni and says " I am NOT talking to strangers."
When any of the kids say, or do anything that catches us off guard, Rache and I usually say
Now, Harper's doing it. And I don't ever wanna forget it. It's priceless.
Christmas is drawing near! What more do you want to accomplish before the big day?
We have made cookies, done gingerbread houses, bought gifts, sipped cocoa and sang Christmas songs. Now we want to see the Festival of Lights and I think we'll feel like we did it all.
Anxious to hear what traditions go on in your world!