Rough friday

It has been a bad morning.  A really rough morning.  

Screaming baby.  Big kids talking nasty to one another [and me] and lots of yelling.

Days like today are hard and long and exhausting. 

 But I can't help but sit back and laugh.  I mean what else is a mom to do when she walks into a room and her baby screams for her loudly every single time.  Of course I laugh when my baby who 'can't see me' or who 'doesn't hear well' looks right at me and flails her body around like she's dying because I don't pick her up.  I laugh because I sneak around my own house like a ninja in hopes that she doesn't hear me or catch a glimpse of me 10 feet away.  It's ridiculous really.  

...

But it's all I've wanted for 18 months; for her to recognize me and desire me above anyone else.  And finally she does.  She really does.  Greatly does.  Always does.  

And I slither through a room hoping to avoid her cries of affection because it can be so draining.

If I'm in another room and she hears me talking, she loses her mind.  I mean the most aggressive, ear piercing scream you have ever heard.  Sometimes if the big kids talk to me, I ignore them and don't answer for fear that if I speak she will scream psychotically for me.  Pathetic, right?

And again, I try desperately how to navigate the world of 'special needs' with high needs.  

Mabel, my friends, is officially both.  Special Needs && High Needs.

Apparently so is her 4 year old brother who did NOT stay with his Aunt Jeni last night.  At around 11 pm, he told her that 'he hated staying at other people's houses all night' and that 'he would wait by the door for someone to come and get him.'  

So Daniel did.  

And I woke up giving him chocolate milk as always, proving there really is no rest for the weary.

 The fire is going.  It's bitter cold in this house.  The kids are restless and I've cleaned as much as I can.  Hoping for some time to relax and just enjoy the day.

And my super heroes.  Braden is batman and Nora is, once again, Bumble Bee.  

Sigh.