absent.

There hasn't been much to say.  Or rather, there is much to say and so little that I can write about.  I'm so tired of analyzing myself.  Thinking and over thinking.  I'm choosing to be absent from writing so that I can just be.

So tonight I'll give you the basics.

It is gorgeous outside.  We've spent the last few days outside--TV free, computer free.

Enjoying sunshine and early spring.  Soaking in what little bit of the new season we have for now.  Braden has been enjoying playing in mud puddles and Nora enjoys making them for him to play in.  Needless to say, they've been a mess.

 Mabel had a neurology appointment yesterday.  We are going to get a second opinion from a different geneticist and we have a few tests that we hope he thinks are necessary.  Please continue to pray for direction as we continue on this very long, very hard journey of caring for, loving on and advocating for our littlest love. 

The last few weeks have been exhausting with Mabel.  Her sensory needs are high and without movement, constant swinging or repetition she is completely frantic and crying.  It has made for very long days and alot of sadness and guilt in my mommy heart.  These are things that aren't talked about and go unnoticed from day to day.  Please continue to pray that we can meet her needs while having so very little information on how to help her. 

...If only I knew how to help her...

Nora cleaned the windows today and changed her clothes 3 times.  She is a helper, a sassy 5 year old, talks way too loud and dances awkwardly.  She loves her dad and wants to spend time cuddling and being with him and she is a diva like my sister which I never expected. 

One of the hardest things for me now is trying to fit in time with Nora to make her feel loved and special.  She still sleeps with me at night and asks for me to wrap my arms around her. 

I do it--because I can and because she needs me to.

 I can tell this summer is going to bring me so much joy.  The kids are older and although they are ornery, they do listen better.  I can trust them a little more with simple things and it makes for a much easier time overall.  They play pretty good together outside and we don't come in until the sun goes down.  This is just what I need...long days, short nights and tired kids at the end of it all.

Neighbor mowed 4 times today. 

[the grass hasn't grown since last summer.  here we go again.]

Other neighbor will be home soon.  Glad that we had help moving our trampoline back into our yard after it blew into his. 

Heidi escaped for the first time this morning.  That's how I know it's truly spring.

Tomorrow's post?

Things I'm loving right now. 

What about you?