Some of our most amazing breakthroughs have been in the van. We make jokes but in all honesty, without those drives with 4 children in the back we might not have made it through some of our hardest days.
Each of us has a story to tell. Hers is different than mine but they have intertwined to create in us something unique. It is a brilliant splash of agony and victory. It has been the most bittersweet, painful, lovely ride of our lives.
This weekend was laid back. The kids played outside and we didn't turn on the television at all. Daniel and I went out for date night on Saturday and it ended with me getting locked out of the mall without him for 45 minutes. That was swell.
Nora informed us that she wants to be a missionary to Africa when she's older. She wants to tell people about Jesus, "but not just there. Here too. People here don't know Jesus either..."
She's a wise little girl and without us having to go into detail about her plans, she already has them etched on her heart. God did that.
He's amazing.
Braden doesn't say such quite profound things just yet but he is madly in love with a lady named Megan. Megan is Jeni's age and is a good friend of ours. He loves her and thinks she's beautiful. He cries for her at least once a day and wants to marry her. He has such a gentle, kind heart and I pray with everything I am that he would continue to grow in that way until he's an adult with a wife and children.
They would be really blessed.
I had a great weekend with Mabel after the news that she can hear.
Speaking of Mabel, today is Purple day--also known as national epilepsy day. You can wear purple of any kind to show your support and to spread the word. Share our story. Lead people here.
Let's spread awareness together!
Harper will be 2 years old in a couple of weeks. She's super funny and super ornery. She's saying so many words and is the light of my day. Honestly she brings me complete and total joy.
She can't say Quack. If you wanna see for yourself, visit our Raising Redheads youtube channel and click on the video titled, "Harper says the f word."
You can't help but laugh. She's little.
♥
Happy Monday.
2 comments:
I was on Chictopia on my regular blog and somehow got here after reading someone's story. I guess they were wearing yellow for Mabel :) and I got curious- what is this all about?!! then I read your blog.
Let me tell you, I am a physician (of adults- did not want to be involved with kids while in med school) and now I am also a mother. My son has no medical problems for now that we know of- we are so blessed! However I feel exactly the same way you feel, at times. When you say you mourn your old life, your carefree life... I feel that too.
In my opinion being accepting that someone is not going to change- that someone cannot change- is not giving up. I don't know if Mabel has cerebral palsy or what is it that she has. I were to hear a story like hers in the hospital I would know "this is it", she is never going to be like your other kids. It does not make her any less precious though.
I don't know if accepting things- she's different, has different needs, she cannot ever be independent, etc. Just accepting that and continuing on with life with her... It's like she's a big beautiful newborn- and she will always be like a newborn- for as long as she lives. I say this with a certain detachment which I am trying hard not to have. But I want to be honest in the fact that I cannot even imagine being in your situation - saying that I do would be a lie.
You and your family will be in my pryers from now on.
I do not know if you could ever say to yourself- "This is it and it's going to be OK" even when it is not what you imagined for yourself. But I just want to let you know- I have seen many people that are ableto say that, that are able to continue with their lives and they are the richest, most enlightened people that I have ever seen. I guess God will only gives us what we can take- you must have some decent strength in you for Him to have blessed you in such unexpected way with Mabel's special needs. I commend you for taking it all and providing such a beautiful example.
I could try to imagine that every worry that you had before she was born may seem so trivial to you right now... But I cannot help but notice that there is still a tone of disbelief- of hoping for a change... I don't think Mabel is going to change into our ideas of "normalcy" ever.
My life will never be the same as before when I was single. But I cannot imagine a day without my son. He is so gorgeous and I love him more and more eevry day.... I don't know how you haven't litterally "burst" out of love with not one but THREE children!!
So even when you mourn your old life before Mabel showed signs of difficulties, I am sure you cannot imagine a day without her and you love her more and more... You are just tired... which is expected and probably the most normal thing in your life right now. And your husband is right on being OK with everything- THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO!!!! Except to love each other, love all of you- and you already do!
( I obviously do not know anything about your daughter- but if I were to assume that her diagnosis is anything similar to cerebral palsy then I can tell you- I have seen these children as "adults" as my patients. They are the same babies they used to be only bigger, and some can talk, move their upper extremities or even communicate with different tones and gestures but some cannot. And their mothers are there just the same- They have birthday parties just the same. They may laugh at nothing or may not laugh at all- You just have to stop trying to decipher things in your head... because no matter what the answer is, the answer is still the same. You will be there no matter what, you will continue your normal life, (you should get help- I mean some people get help even with less "needy" children).
And remember- the healthier you are, the healthier your family will be as a whole. Take care of yourself. Being accepting is not giving up- is actually the hardest part of the battle- and you win! You cannot change things- you can make beauty with what is there- and you already do- I am so inspired by you- You have made me see my own life in such a different way.
May GOD continue to bless you and your beautiful family every day! :)
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