Thursday, June 21, 2012


I was up with her in the middle of the night, like I am many times through the week, but this time was different.  I was calm.  She was seizing and shaking but I felt peace. 
I am so thankful for technology because I asked for prayer on facebook and immediately people started responding that they were up and praying for our girl.  The community of believers is amazing and to be a part of something so great is overwhelming. 
Mabel wore bibs yesterday.  They were the first 'big girl' thing she has probably ever worn.  It took everybody by a little surprise when they saw her.  It made my entire day. 
 Thank you for taking the time to send me your prayer requests.  I want you to know that I feel like when we join together out of obedience to God that He honors that.  Ultimately, He has a plan and His will is perfect but He is faithful to reward His people.  He loves us and if you are hurting I hope that you can lean into Him and know that He is near. 

Along the way in this journey with Mabel I have met many people who have grown in their faith because of something that has shaken it up a bit.  My faith is much different now and my understanding of the Lord is complex, yet gentle.  It is a stronger.  The affection that I share with Him is more pure and for that I am thankful. 

I think that other parent's in our situation share similar testimonies.  Maybe they had this unrealistic relationship with God throughout their life but He brought clarity as they battled with physical things.  What I know to be true and what I believe are very different and very much the same.  Like I said-complex but gentle.  But although it's different, it isn't any less deep or passionate.  I understand God in my life better and therefore I feel more certain of His will.  I can rest in a peace that is easy and liberating.  And today, that is my prayer for you.
 We are getting a serious case of the crazies.  This heat is killing us [because we haven't been able to go outside.]  I used to be an activities planner for my kids and even typing that now makes me want to gag.  I lost quite a bit of interest in doing that during schooling this year and as I have been busy with other things.  It makes me sad to think that I once did these really great things with the kids and they probably wont remember me being that way.

But...I don't feel too awful about it. 
This is who I am.  I don't much care for crafts or activities anymore.  I'm just not that mom and that's ok.  We do play card games and make tents.  We watch cartoons and play superheros.  Nora plays with her dolls and follows us around taking pictures on a fake cell phone.  Oh the structure!
I'm just trying to let them fill their days with things that make them happy.  Soon enough [in the fall] Nora will be heading to school and she will start to enjoy school-like activities.  For now, they are still little and they are still all mine.  We are just taking each day as it comes.  It is wild and often annoying but at least they go to bed happy and content with the things they did during that day. 
And usually so do I.
Today's contentment will be:  another piece of almond pound cake, an almost 2 year old in short-jammies, possible time alone this afternoon, a movie with my guy tonight and a kitty who does somersaults. 
Because it all makes me far more happy than it should.  Good day ahead...

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