Sunday, October 28, 2012


Happy Sunday!
 I know my last typed post was kind of dark.  I get how that is hard to read.  It's hard to write!  Being me, inside of myself, is difficult on many days and the only outlet I have is writing here.  I could write in private, sure.  I could be journaling, of course.  But this is where I feel like myself and where I have built a confidence.  This is where my words become more than words.  Their meaning is reflected here.
 The days following my last post were much better.  Incredible, actually.
Some funny things happened.  Rache smashing a half-dead mouse with a broom, in the dining room with all the kids watching for one thing.  That was pretty priceless.  Reminded me of another mouse story we shared 2 fall's ago when she first got here.  Good times.
 We carved pumpkins (and picked our noses apparently).
 We enjoyed the last warm days of 2012 outside with friends. It was an Indian Summer celebration that took place in our garage.
 Nora's pumpkin idea was, of course, a cat.  Braden chose batman.
 We took the kids to the 'lights on tour' at the haunted house and when they came home, the mimicked their experience for hours.  Rache and I had to be scared 100 times in the lights off version of our our toy room tour.  Nora got into my make up and became a scary clown.  Braden was a zombie.
 I made peanut butter cookies and we ate good food that was made by good friends.
 We went to the lighted pumpkin patch but not before we turned the corner out of our driveway and ran out of gas.  Just me and Rache will all of the kids.  
Never fails that Daniel is at work and it happens. We were on our way to the gas station.
How ironic. 
 I have been taking photos non stop and am so grateful that I chose to start doing it again.  In the fall, not only are the photos gorgeous but the families and kids are bringing me so much happy!
 It's such a hard balance in our life.  There is so much good; an overwhelming amount of love and joy.  And then there's the reality that is haunting.  
Living in the midst of the two is a delicate dance each day...'s one that I feel like I am conquering.  
I am no longer tip toeing in fear or sadness.  I am full-on enjoying life again.  I see the beauty of the little moments and I think that the surge of truth sometimes makes them more heavy than they should feel but over all, I am enjoying them. 
 Mabel is saying "Hi" now.  And constantly.
Video to come.
 I don't know if I ever posted it here but our 2nd Annual Mabel's Able 5k Race/Walk raised over $6000!  We are planning on doing some Christmas gifts for children who are undiagnosed or living with a rare disease (and possibly their siblings).  If we can't get with the program quite fast enough for that this year we are planning to support other events that are knee deep in the same cause!  We should be able to umbrella over these organizations and help them whenever we can, with whatever they need and that's what we hope to do!
 I enjoyed visits from friends this weekend.  Friends who have supported us all along behind the scenes, by praying and writing me often.  Little minds asked big questions and we, the mommy's, tried to answer accordingly.  What's so great is that when the question was answered, the discussion was over and play resumed.  I wish it were so in adulthood.
 The sky is changing quickly as winter approaches.  Winter is a scary time for me, emotionally.  It's dark, cold, and often lonely.  But this year I feel excited for the planning of holidays, gatherings with friends and busyness of the season.  I also feel excited for days of nothing with my kids and the people who I share life with.  
If you aren't one of those people but want to be:  Our door is always open.
Feel free to come and join me in whatever it is I'm doing.  
Really.  I mean that.

Rache and I are headed to a Night of Worship tonight.  Hoping to be refreshed in new ways, as always.  
[even if it's only because of Starbucks afterward].  It's all in perspective, people.  

1 comment:

Tina said...

Please know that you can write WHATEVER you want here and we will all be happy--more than happy--to read it! You never need to apologize for expressing sadness or frustration or anger or any of it. This is your place, and we aren't here to read about rainbows and unicorns; we're here to read about real life, as it happens--and to admire and soak in your courage and strength and humor. Please keep writing with the honesty that makes you so special.