raising redheads: Playing Catch-Up

The plan over the next several days for this blog is to play a little bit of catch up before I start really writing again. I have done so much thinking about how I want to re-integrate into placing all of how I feel onto the screen and letting my emotions bleed publicly again But it's time and I'm ready. Not only have I not written here but I haven't written at all. Again, a much needed and well deserved break and time of private introspection but I feel my fingers trembling and my heart beating to write.

But before I do let me recap some of the important events that have happened during the last couple of months. For instance, Braden's birthday, and Nora's mini m-squad debut.

I'll come back to Braden's birthday party in just a minute but here a few photos of the night that all of my friends showed up once again to support me and the kids. They are relentless in going big for me and I will never be able to thank them enough. We are truly so blessed.

Nora and her best friend Suzy got to dance together on the football field for the very first football game and not only were they excited but they ended up being pretty good! I just cannot wrap my head around how this is possible.

Nora is still having a pretty hard time and each day is different but I feel like I'm doing the very best that I can do to help her. I am praying and listening and being here in the ways that I know how. She is so special and I love her so much. And I know she knows...

Braden.

What to say about this boy? His little mind, in the last couple of months, has amazed me. He is just little enough to be fully resilient but just big enough to be all kinds of brave. I am so incredibly proud of him.

As I always do, I threw a party that was suitable for my only boy to celebrate his upcoming 6th year. I can't believe all of the changes that he has endured over the last several months and yet, he has maintained all of who he is. I see so much of myself in him and that excites me because I know that his heart will be tender yet fierce. He is strong, capable and oh so empathetic. These qualities will continue to grow him in the years to come.

I want to interject a quick "we are so lucky to have Steve and Abie..."

I mean they throw themselves fully into all we do. I get tearful just recalling the times they have walked through my door and the kids' faces have lit up. They are rockstars for me.

{thank you both.}

I hope that in throwing the parties, in lighting the candles, in opening the gifts, in surrounding them with the people who love them-I can truly help these children know that celebrating life is necessity. This precious gift that we get to live is ever changing. It can be brutally painful and utterly remarkable all at the same time. But in the midst of those heavy and conflicting emotions, breaths are still being taken and people are still capable of loving. I pray that they look at me and know that nothing in this world is ever worth giving up on this beautiful, powerful life for because you never know what tomorrow will bring.