Both of my girls were sick today.
Nora woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat, headache and aching body. She stayed up through a lot of the night, wrestling with herself.
Mabel woke up today with a high fever, 104.2 to be exact. Both girls started antibiotics and I'm hoping that whatever they have will pass with the help of medicine rather than being the flu and having to just 'get through it.' Mabel hasn't eaten by mouth in 3 days. I'm grateful for her g-tube and am reminded that we would be in a much different position without it.
With it, I'm able to keep her hydrated, and nourished right at home. Without it, we would have no choice but to go to the hospital where other people would be in charge of her care. I'm just so glad we are in the position we are in.
It's worrisome when Mabel is sick. It's stressful, sad and exhausting. But the truth is I am not worried about her dying. Death itself doesn't panic me. It's the idea of the suffering leading up to her death that leaves me with anxiety. I just want mercy for my girl, and not weeks or months of agonizing symptoms before eternity.
It's now 8 pm and both girls are resting in their beds, Nora on her ipad and Mabel asleep under her weighted blanket. This morning when Nora told me how she felt my heart broke that Mabel can't express the same things to me. I was glad that her sister had a voice and was able to give me insight to how Mabel may be feeling. Their bond is incredibly unique and extra special. Tonight before bed Nora said to me, so gently, "You take such good care of us mommy."
I hope she always knows that taking good care of them is all I ever want to do.
Please continue to pray for both girls, that they'll be back to feeling like themselves quickly...
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