My sweet sister says she is not a writer.
Maybe what she doesn't fully realize is that you become a great many things that you weren't before, when you become a mother.
You become an advocate, a fighter, a decision maker, a warrior, a no-sleeper, an opinionated, foreign, completely-new-being.
Truly...
To sum it up, I suppose you just become when you become a mom.
You transform. You shift. You evolve.
You grow and learn and change and as your child is birthed into this world, outside of you, you are birthed brand new again too (inside of you). Suddenly your entire being, including your spirit no longer feels familiar but completely unfamiliar. At first you don't understand her, this new person, and you may not even like her. At all. But one day- without warning, this total shift happens and you realize that you have embraced even the parts of her that you weren't ready for.
And you become...
The mother that you were created to be.
Intended to be.
Sometimes not the one you dreamed of being. Sometimes not even the one you wished to be.
But the one God created you to be, without a doubt.
And my sister is living out that perfect calling right now, being August Sawyer's mom.
And, oh, she is the greatest.
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Today is day 21 in the cardiac ICU at Lurie's Children's Hospital in Chicago for Jeni, Matt and Gus. They are 2 1/2 hours from home and August is 2 days post op after an extensive open heart surgery where the surgeon's corrected not one or two little complexities in his heart, but 5 total.
Currently he is still sedated but stable.
Today, they successfully closed the incision in his chest after allowing it to be open for the past couple of days due to swelling. Jeni texted these exact words to me just a few minutes ago:
"The surgeon just came out and said he's finished.
That God is a healer."
And I got goosebumps and my eyes swelled heavy to overflowing because in the last week I have told Nora and Braden repeatedly, "Kids, the whole wide world is watching now. If Gus lives it is because God will do a miracle on earth! We saw a miracle when He came for Mabel and took her to Heaven and healed her body! The whole world watched then too! All we can do is trust Him and see what it is that He will do. We cannot be afraid.
God is God. God is God. God is God.
Either way, God is a healer!"
---
Soon, the team of doctors will begin weaning Gus' sedation, as long all of his stats remain steady, stable and good. During this time we need your continued prayers as August's body works really hard to heal. This process is long and can be really tough.
"The surgeon just came out and said he's finished.
That God is a healer."
And I got goosebumps and my eyes swelled heavy to overflowing because in the last week I have told Nora and Braden repeatedly, "Kids, the whole wide world is watching now. If Gus lives it is because God will do a miracle on earth! We saw a miracle when He came for Mabel and took her to Heaven and healed her body! The whole world watched then too! All we can do is trust Him and see what it is that He will do. We cannot be afraid.
God is God. God is God. God is God.
Either way, God is a healer!"
---
Soon, the team of doctors will begin weaning Gus' sedation, as long all of his stats remain steady, stable and good. During this time we need your continued prayers as August's body works really hard to heal. This process is long and can be really tough.
Though, we have seen, our boy is a true fighter.
.....
.....
Let me tell you a little about August, from the eyes of his auntie...
Aside from being born with this insanely bad heart that made him sweat and grunt a lot and made his poor new mama question whether he was just a fussy newborn or if there were new cardiac changes, he is a really funny boy! (Her instincts were always right, by the way. Again, she is a great mommy!)
Before this rapid decline of his failing heart, he learned to smile and even coo! He was following toys with his eyes and was loving (ok hating) tummy time for me, his therapist/Auntie:)
He loves his momma-roo swing thing (Admittedly I don't even know what that's called because we had an old wind up swing for my kids), and he is still currently tongue tied which makes him a really ridiculous, frustrating (and kinda funny) eater. He makes the most hilarious pouty face with his bottom lip puckered out just like his mommy. He loves to sleep with his hands up by his head and he likes the car, though we hope he can go on more rides now that he might not have to load those big old oxygen tanks around everywhere he goes.
This boy has given his mommy and daddy and all of us who love him a run for our money in just a few short weeks. He is SO handsome and his spirit is really the sweetest. Like when you hold him, you hold a piece of Heaven. And I'm not just saying that. Trust me, it's true.
---
I told Jeni in a text on the night of his surgery that I felt like maybe God knew that these few days while he was sedated would be the only time that he and Mabel could really 'meet' and play and maybe we needed to know that. Even though the total realist in me finds it hard to believe, I'm sorta surrendering to that sweet notion and am really hoping that somehow it's true. Because thinking that he's seeing her in his dreams right now makes my heart feel peace that I can't explain.
I also told her that his poor little broken heart helped heal most all of mine.
And that is true. Oh, it's so true.
No coincidences...not ever. ]
Please continue to pray for my little buddy.
And for my sister and brother in law who have endured so much already. Who have been at my side during the hardest days of my life and who's sides I will never leave. They are brave and strong and full of so much love for their son. I am so proud to know and love them both.
---
My sister has been writing beautifully about her journey on their caring bridge site. In fact, she may just be a writer after all... among many new things now.
You can visit it by going here:
www.caringbridge.org and searching August Bassi
[You may have to input your email address and a password. Please take the extra time to do so, it's really worth it!]
.....
Also, SO many of you have been asking how you can help Jeni and Matt directly.
I'm the girl to ask, seeing as how I am 'Miss Direct' and all :)
Most of you personally know (or have been affected in some way by) the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical stress that families with special needs children face. My sister and Matt had no idea that August had CHD before he was born and were quite literally thrust into this journey with him 12 weeks ago completely unprepared. The financial burden that they will face in the weeks, months and years ahead will be great. Because of this, some of their sweet friends created a paypal account that will remain open as a place where people can give as they feel led. I am completely behind this notion because I just believe in helping those who need help.
I have been on both sides of that in this life; of giving and receiving and of course it has humbled me deeply at times. But I truly believe that the seasons for both will ebb and flow as life does.
I hope that you see it the same, and if so, that you will give as you can. If we help lift the burdens of others while we can, I know that when we face trials in the future ours will be lifted as well.
www.paypal.me/AugustBassi
Also, there is currently an online scentsy party happening where part of the proceeds will be donated to Jeni and Matt as well. Happy ordering!
https://riddlr82.scentsy.us/party/8346563/ramees-party
Thank you in advance.
We have felt your prayers and feel your love. We are always so grateful.
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